For the past two months, I have tried to watch comedy movies with Amma. Mostly in Tamil and Hindi. Many of these movies are ones that I have watched with Krishnan earlier, while some are new.
This is a welcome distraction from remembering every minute that Krishnan is not around physically …. and more importantly it’s a coping mechanism for the bottomless grief. Will write about “cleaning” as a coping mechanism as well. All of April, cleaning the house kept me going.
For a couple of hours, these movies help us by making us laugh or at least smile… don’t care about messages so much. If they leave us feeling good, that’s enough for now.
Yesterday while searching for some short movie to watch, I found Sharmaji Namkeen on Prime Video. It’s Rishi Kapoor’s last movie and Paresh Rawal has acted in those scenes which couldn’t be filmed with Rishi Kapoor as he had taken ill and passed away.
Sharmaji Namkeen – Storyline
Sharma Ji is given a golden handshake two years before his retirement from the appliances company that he worked for all his life. Suddenly he finds himself with a lot of time on hand. Having lost his wife many years back, Sharma Ji was the defacto cook at home. His sons, extended family and friends, all loved his cooking and he kept trying new dishes as he loved to cook.
One of his closest friends suggests his name to someone holding a “kitty” party. Sharma Ji’s food is a big hit with the “kitty” ladies and soon he is flooded with work. He hides this fact from his sons, especially his elder son. Sharma Ji is quite sure that his elder son would feel the title of a “cook” for “kitty” parties to be beneath their status. But the “kitty” ladies become good friends of Sharma Ji and he enjoys his work.
His secret is outed during a birthday party and leads to a lot of embarrassment. Finally the same “Kitty” ladies help his elder son out of a pickle and jail time and all’s well that ends well.
It’s a very simple storyline and both Rishi Kapoor and Paresh Rawal as Sharma Ji are brilliant. There are no double meaning dialogues, no cringe scenes and it just leaves you feeling good. For someone like me who never liked “kitty” parties, I understood why they exist and why they are a great support system for women.
I dislike movies that make parents or older folks into caricatures… this one deals with retirement as something you take in your stride.
Last Year Same Time
In a strange coincidence, around the same time last year, Krishnan and I watched another nice movie “Achaari Baa”. This one was with Neena Gupta in the lead role and Kabir Bedi in some of the scenes. Well, both immensely watchable as actors and ofcourse Kabir Bedi can just be watched to feel better, whether he acts or not.
Achaari Baa – Storyline
Here its the mother who is the protagonist. The son and his family want to take a vacation and need someone to look after their dog. They get this brilliant idea of asking their mother to come and spend time with them.
Neena Gupta playing the mother, has a thriving pickle business in their village. When her son calls her from the city, she assumes he is missing her and immediately lands up at his house. They had been estranged for many years…
Within a day, she realises that her son wasn’t missing her or wanting to make up with her, but just needed somebody to watch over their dog. Neena Gupta is terrified of dogs but slowly becomes friendly with the dog, ofcourse with help from Kabir Bedi, a resident of the condominium. Other youngsters also become her friends and soon she is named “Achaari Baa”
The best part of the movie is when the Son and his family return from their vacation and the son gets a tight slap from his mother, saying “you needn’t have lied to me, you could have just told me to come help with the dog and I would have”. The son is contrite but Neena Gupta goes back to the village and with the help of her new friends in the condominium, she has learnt to “market” her pickles even more. She gets an online presence and orders from many places.
Again, we loved the no nonsense portrayal of the mother … usually Bollywood tends to make mothers as this crying wimp who can do nothing on her own, especially when she is a widow !
Coping with Grief
The permanent solution to get through the dark night of the soul, is to meditate and bring your awareness to a point where no props are required. But even as one meditates, the dark night of grief is very difficult to deal with, and these props are helpful.
Television is truly a boon and OTT is a bigger boon. The grief cannot be suppressed but wallowing in it constantly also is not helping. Watching a movie or a web series helps us take our mind off the grief for a short while and hopefully one day the size of the hole is a little smaller.
One moment, one hour, one day at a time.
Be seeing you, my beloved !