In Tolerance

I am writing this piece in “complete” tolerance …. Tolerating the misunderstandings, the mudslinging and mis-statements. We Indians are born with tolerance. There is even an advert about it – “Thoda adjust kar lo”. There is seating only for two people and we will adjust five there. The scooter is designed to carry two adults and a child, we will adjust three adults and three children. From a “share” auto, expect to see enough people to fill a mini bus. We even adjust in public life, so what if Lalu Yadav has been pronounced corrupt by the courts, we will adjust our thinking and re-elect him. Poor guy, it’s his fate that he was born that way. We adjust when a journalist heckles our Prime Minister and say it’s ok, in public life we must be tolerant. 

We adjust when the first Prime Minister on his very first visit to UK, doesn’t go to his hotel, but is photographed meeting Edwina Mountbatten, his “friend”, a lady whose husband was not at home. Oh he is our beloved, good looking “chacha” Nehru. Great man, who was amongst the top five English writers and speakers in his time. C’mon, it’s part of our culture to be promiscuous. The great Western minds have told us that even our Gods had several wives and who are we to question the great man who seems to have won us our Independence single-handedly. There was just no one else as tall, just pesky trouble makers like Sardar Patel, Subhas Bose, and yeah, the non-anglicised President then Dr. Rajendra Prasad, Dr. Ambedkar, … Just didn’t contribute. 

We were told to be secular because the Hindus worship every living and non-living being. We were told, the hallmark of tolerance is being secular, even when we loved eating the “sevaiyyan” during Eid and our Muslim brothers played our Gods during Ram Leela. We were taught to be secular, even when the tax payers money was sent to poor Vatican and a “dynamic” (late) Chief Minister of a state, mooted the idea of a church on Tirumala. No, we cannot build a “temple” or mosque at Vatican, that’s being intolerant you fool. Don’t bring religion into politics. The best way to avoid it and be tolerant is to build a church on Tirumala. Sell liquor on Tirumala. 

We are really tolerant, even though we were thoroughly tested when in Ireland, a young mother died because Catholics do not allow abortion. We intolerant people didn’t get it then. We also were very tolerant when a tree shook Delhi, and just thousands of Sikhs got killed. What ? You think that’s intolerance ? No no what we couldn’t tolerate was our beloved “chacha” Nehru’s daughter Indira Gandhi was shot by her security guards who happened to be Sikhs. How can we tolerate one great leader being killed. You should be happy that we still have an army left and the tolerant Sardars continue to protect us. Hey they even feed 10 million people EVERY DAY at the Gurudwaras, tolerantly, not expecting justice. A secular French beard sporting killer is still on the loose in tolerant India. 

The US is so intolerant, they killed Osama, a poor terrorist who masterminded the attack on the twin towers. They should learn from India .. We cried when Yakub Memon was hanged after 21 years and several fair trials and after it was proven beyond doubt that he was involved in the Mumbai blasts. We took a couple of years to hang young Kasab, who was caught on camera shooting people at the iconic Tajmahal hotel in Mumbai. The world has to learn from us. We are the only country where a Superstar’s wife can remain a Hindu and their children can choose to be Christians. Even the intolerant United States of America strip searches him every time he tries to visit that country because of his last name. 

We tolerated the uncivilised stiff upper lips who didn’t even keep themselves clean by bathing every day for 200 years and we continue to pay homage to their “civilised” ways after a legacy like the Indus Valley civilization and the Shore temple and the Taj Mahal and the Muslin cloth. We tolerated the barbaric acts that they did on our soil and even tolerated their calling the great Subhas Bose a war criminal … Remember the great man Winston Churchill called the Bengal famine as collateral damage and we tolerated the lie. Food was taken away from our mouths to feed the allied soldiers and one of our sons was called a war criminal ??? 

How can we be more tolerant ? Maybe we start by letting 3,50,000 Kashmiri Pandits to go back to their homes in Kashmir…. Maybe we turn the dial back and make Manipur a 90% Hindu state… Maybe we charge sheet those responsible for the Nellie riots in Assam where thousands of our Muslim brothers were butchered by a secular government.. Or more recently, we let Durga Puja happen in those couple of villages where Hindus are a minority in West Bengal… Let’s also reverse the fine of Rs. 500 that was levied on two Hindu girls for sporting “bindis” in a Christian school… Let’s hang the rapists of a young girl yesterday in Bangalore …Lets stop blaming our PM for the headache we have this morning… Let’s pick up that bottle we threw out of our swanky car on Rajpath or spend a night in jail for throwing trash and blaming the “Swachh Bharat” campaign… While we are at it, let’s shut down the parallel “media” justice system… Let’s also report on our boss’ son’s accident in a Lamborgini…. Let’s also not edit portions of an interview that praise the PM… Let’s begin admitting that the scion of an “illustrious” family has to live with a few grey cells and they don’t grow with tolerance or donations to the Vatican… 

Let’s tolerate “no scams” for nearly 18 months and tolerate the inability to rake in the millions on the side … Our deposits in the Swiss banks will go down, we need to be tolerant. The PM will visit many countries and you won’t get a free ride, we need to be tolerant. 

Can we tolerantly like always, get to work and stop being fashionably conveniently intolerant ! The fad has passed on, my dears.