Our Valentine’s Day

My Beloved….

By this time on March 14, 1990 we both had nearly made up our minds that the other was interesting …. we met in the morning, you saw me before I saw you, all because of your habit of reaching every place ahead of time.

You had read my name and thought a little about how would I be. I read your name across the table and thought to myself that you must be a Tamilian because my eldest Mama was named Krishnan. Thus began our journey in this lifetime.

Today it is 36 years since that day and fifty one days since I last heard your voice. I did hear you wishing us a Happy “Meeting” Anniversary today in the morning, but it’s not the same. I didnt wear a new saree and we didnt plan our lunch. I ordered some of our favourites from Bikanervala, just to celebrate.

Very interestingly I stumbled across the following story about Sri Ramakrishna Paramhamsa and Maa Sharda, that is part of this book “The Osho Upanishad”.

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“…I am reminded of a beautiful incident in the life of Ramakrishna’s wife, Sharda Devi.

Ramakrishna died, but before dying he told Sharda, “Remember, I have been here always and I will be here always, so don’t think of yourself as a widow. Only my body is going to die – but you are married to me, not to my body.”

In India, when a husband dies – and particularly in Bengal it is more severe for the woman, for the wife – her head is shaved… because half of the beauty of a woman is in her hair. She cannot wear any colored clothes; only white is allowed. She cannot use any ornaments, particularly the glass bangles that are used by married women. When the husband dies, she has to break her glass bangles.

Just by the way, I have to inform you why the glass bangles have been chosen as a symbol of marriage: because here in this life, everything is just like glass – breakable, easily breakable.

And when the husband dies, she has to break her bangles on the floor. They need to be made of glass, not of metal, not of gold.

But Ramakrishna prohibited her: “In spite of the whole tradition, I prohibit you. Continue the way you have lived with me. I have loved your food, your sweets. Every day, prepare my food, my sweets; and sit just the way you used to sit before me while I was eating. One day I will be coming.”

Ramakrishna died.

Everybody tried to convince Sharda, “Don’t be mad, don’t go against the tradition. Ramakrishna was always half mad, and it seems that before death he has lost his mind completely!”

But Sharda said, “I am not married to the tradition, not married to the convention – I am married to this beautiful half-madman and I am going to follow him.” She did not cry. She continued using ornaments, glass bangles, colored clothes; she did not shave her hair.

People said, “We used to think Ramakrishna was mad; this Sharda is even more mad. She is a widow, and she is behaving as if she is newly married.”

And she would prepare the food with the same enthusiasm, and would bring it to Ramakrishna’s room and sit in front of him with a small fan in her hands, as she used to sit – as for thousands of years in the East, wives have sat with a fan, so that no fly or anything can sit on the food.

And people said, “You are mad. There is nobody there.”

And twice every day the ritual was repeated, and she lived many years.

Whenever she was asked she said, “Whatever happens… I know he is going to come one day.” Such patience…..”

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To read the entire transcript click here – From Information to Transformation.

It felt like a message from the Master and from you … and am trying to do the same as Maa Sharda. Going through the day, getting things done but a part of me is waiting patiently for you to knock the door and for me to wake up from this dream.

Now the debate is settled for this lifetime and Nachi will have to take my side on this – in our family, I am the one with patience. So I will wait because I know you will come, and I go on because I know you are around.

Happy “Meeting” Anniversary sweetheart !