I need help here … I love my mom, but I get into a fight with her if we have a conversation for five minutes !! I need to focus when I am working or studying and I cannot answer questions about which vegetable sells for what cost 🙁 Amma constantly interrupts with things that are important to her and I don’t say, they are unimportant to me but in my order of priority they don’t feature. I am sure this problem is not unique to me – moms don’t understand that it’s not lack of love but lack of common interest that becomes a conflict. There is also a lesson here for all my girl friends who chose to become moms – stay out of your child’s hair and don’t obsess over them !!
Obsess when they are tiny – I get that, but once the child is able to walk, talk and interact with the world, can you please step back and let the child figure things out for itself ? Your love and cuddle is always needed, but the expression of love has to change. It has to be mothering not smothering 🙁
I was reading Happiness Hypothesis and am reproducing a few statements that are fascinating and relate to what I am saying above … “Bowlby’s Attachment theory begins with the idea that two basic goals guide children’s behaviour – safety and exploration. A child who stays safe survives; a child who explores and plays develops the skills and intelligence for adult life”. ….. And later in the book “It’s no wonder that childhood attachment styles (Ainsworth’s Secure, Avoidant and Resistant patterns) persist in adulthood. The whole attachment system persists.”
Ok waiting for the brickbats for the brat that is me :):):):) Geetu, you want to go first ?