I literally stumbled into this book … no recommendations, it didnt pop up in any book forum or reading club that I am a part of. So it must be what my friend Vandana said, “the book found you.” It does seem that way. And am glad it found me…
Wild – A Summary
Cheryl Strayed and how !! Well, this is the story of Cheryl, a memoir of a particular slice of her life. At the age of 26, she decides to hike the Pacific Crest Trail, California to Oregon, nearly 1000 miles of wilderness. The most important thing being, she does this all alone with a “massive” backpack which she aptly calls “monster”.
Till the age of 22, Cheryl, her sister Karen and brother Leif had a somewhat normal life. Their biological father was abusive, but their mother Bobbi, just gives all of herself to raising the three of them. She re-marries a younger man, Eddie, who proves to be a great step-dad for the three children.
What could have turned into a very normal happy family, suddenly gets splintered when Cheryl’s mother is diagnosed with cancer and dies within a few months of the diagnosis. Cheryl is the hardest hit and just spirals out of control. She gets into multiple relationships, her first marriage to a nice man ends in divorce and she hits rock bottom with drugs. Somehow in a flash, she decides to hike the Pacific Crest Trail despite not being a hiker.
Just like I found her memoir she finds a guidebook and decides to go solo.
Some excerpts from the book will bring out the changes that Cheryl went through as she hiked the PCT.
In the prologue section – “Each day I felt as if I were looking up from the bottom of a deep well. But from that well, I set about becoming a solo wilderness trekker.”
From page 33 – “There was the woman I was before my mom died and the one I was now, my old life sitting on the surface of me like a bruise. The real me was beneath that, pulsing under all the things I used to think I knew.” For me personally, the first statement read like this – “There was the woman I was before Krishnan died and the one I was now, my old life sitting on the surface of me like a shield.” Life with Krishnan can never be a bruise, it was just life… I can’t recognise the face that stares back at me in the mirror because my old self died with him.
From page 51 – “Fear begets fear. Power begets power. I willed myself to beget power. And it wasn’t long before I actually wasn’t afraid. I was working too hard to be afraid.”
From page 59 – “…. Of all the things that convinced me that I should not be afraid while on this journey, of all the things I’d made myself believe so I could hike the PCT, the death of my mother was the thing that made me believe that most deeply in my safety: nothing bad could happen to me, thought. The worst thing already had.” This is precisely how I feel since Jan 23rd…. there is just nothing that can happen to me that I will term as bad because the worst has already happened. I have never been fearful except I feared losing Krishnan …. and now there is truly nothing to be afraid of and nothing to lose. 🙁
Cheryl hitches rides in between for certain sections of the trail which are impassable. During one such ride, she meets this lady called Louise (“Lou”), whose son Luke had been killed. This is an excerpt from page 186 where Lou talks about it – “I look the same, but am not the same in here. I mean, life goes on and all that crap, but Luke dying took it out of me. I try not to act like it, but it did. It took the Lou out of Lou, and I ain’t getting it back.” Well…. that sums up how I feel.
On Page 280 Cheryl writes – “… growing up poor had come in handy. I probably wouldn’t have been fearless enough to go on such a trip with so little money if I hadn’t grown up without it. ” This is so true. Krishnan and I came from lower middle class families and when we went bankrupt we learned to live with very little. When the comforts came, we enjoyed them but we can always live without them. The long road trips that we did were one way of remaining uncomfortable because that helps one to stay grounded.
On Pages 296 and 297 – “All the time that I’d been fielding questions whether I was afraid to be a woman alone – the assumption that a woman alone would be preyed upon – I’d been the recipient of one kindness after another.”…. “… I had nothing but generosity to report. The world and its people had opened their arms to me at every turn.” Again, so true… strangers helped, friends surrounded us during those six years of bankruptcy and now, when I am emotionally bankrupt, our friends and loved ones are like a shield, keeping me safe. I am overwhelmed by their generosity.
When I checked Cheryl Strayed’s wikipedia page I realised that she lost her husband Brian whom she married in 1999 recently. I feel really sad for her …. another mountain to climb and a huge one at that.
The year 2026 seems to be a year of disasters. I do understand that every year is similar with equal parts of sadness and happiness, but certain years feel more like a disaster depending on what happens in your life. So let me rephrase, that this year seems like a year of disasters from my point of view.
Do read the book and definitely watch the movie. I tried finding it on You Tube but except for certain snippets, the full movie doesn’t seem to be available. Will try and buy on Prime.
p.s – My personal PCT hike has been through meditation. Have been hiking that path since May 1. Finding my meaning and purpose through that.