Baba’s day out

About 15 minutes back, at 7 pm IST, coincidentally, the movie “Baby’s day out” was being shown on Star Movies. Coincidentally because, India’s Baba had a day out too today. He rolled up his sleeves, smiled into selfies, and was so concerned about exchanging Rs. 4000/- at an ATM that it was endearing.

Not a single forefather or foremother of this man have ever stood in a queue or have been to an ATM, except probably seeing them in a movie or a news show. He himself hasn’t probably been to a bank or an ATM to draw money like an ordinary citizen. He probably doesn’t know how to. His curiosity would have been welcome, but the timing makes it suspect… And he is so concerned that there aren’t any “suit-boot” people standing in the queue. Well, Pappu, while you haven’t grown up at all, the world has moved on and so has India, inspite of your family’s extra efforts to keep us stunted and backward. There is something known as the internet and banking transactions are done over it, yes, its true. If you are curious, take Mummy Ji’s permission and ask your gardener’s daughter and she will teach you. You cannot touch the notes over the internet, they just move from your account to whichever other account you want it to.

Actually Mummy Ji might be able to help as well. She probably didn’t know that you were curious. So, the “suit-boot” kinda people don’t stand in queues. They do online transactions. Now coming to the people who stood with you in the queue. Many of them are the regular common citizens, the real people, who stand in several queues to get things done. They have remained poor for a long time. Just as your forefathers never knew what it meant to “draw” money from an ATM, these people till recently didn’t even have a bank account. Your family was kind enough to give them doles and keep them poor, because it was important that they remained poor so that your family’s collective soul could empathise. This crazy new Prime Minister we have now, thinks he is a real Prime Minister unlike MMS uncle, who knew when to step aside as Mummy came down the red carpet and he tried to fix that legislation you tore down, just to see you smile. Yes Baba, countries like India do have real Prime Ministers who get real votes and they head a “government”, they don’t rule.

What Mummy Ji told you about handing over the rule to you was the “rule” book that is a family heirloom with secrets, the codes to the fortune and other interesting tidbits .. unfortunately India is not a “thing” that can be handed over and rather unfortunate that we are a dysfunctional democracy, all thanks to your great grandfather… we would have been a vibrant democracy if your great granddad  had listened to some of his colleagues, but anyway, thats too much new knowledge in one day for you.

So dude, wasn’t it cool to go and stand in a queue? All those nice people who wanted to take a pic with you, the bad people who tried asking you questions and all the cameras going off in your face, so cool, right? Next time try and live a month by spending just Rs. 70 a day. Why? because this country which Mummy Ji hopes you will “rule” has millions who get by with less than that a day, while you and your “suit-boot” friends titter and stand in queues and go out to exotic locations for a vacation. Your family handed them squalor as a dole :(. Get curious about that, dodo and stop trying to stand in honest queues and wasting time.

Grow up or get lost. We have had enough of your ilk. Please take those hanging onto to Mummy Ji’s pallu and your shoelaces with you when you go, because they will otherwise trip both of you and that won’t be nice. Bye Baba. Sleep well. Tomorrow, we will find the right movie for you to watch.


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