31, 32 and the heart attacks :(

She brought a new life to earth and left ten minutes after.. Massive heart attack at 31. The little baby girl will now grow up without a mom and hope the world doesn’t lay the blame on her. Strange are the ways of life and death. This happened earlier in the day today and when I heard of it, I was reminded of another massive heart attack at 32.

Bharat was Krishnan’s cousin, his aunt’s son and for me an easy one to remember all the other cousins – I tagged them as Bharat’s gang during my marriage. His father was one of my favourite uncles and I spent countless hours at their place. He completed his education and went to the US to study further and work. Then we heard that he had a heart attack and his parents and newly wed sister went to be with him. He seemingly recovered but within a week of their going over – all was over. He felt queasy after his morning walk and asked his dad to call 911 – the ambulance came, they took him to the nearby hospital and he went in telling his dad, he would be ok, since he was feeling no pain and 5 minutes later, he was gone forever. They brought him back to Chennai and it felt so strange to see him unmoving, not alive…. The worst was the moment when Babu Chitappa, his dad placed a piece of burning ember on his silent chest – a parent’s worst moment, to do the last rites for their child. I will never be able to erase that picture from my mind …. And within minutes he was reduced to ashes 🙁 there are no words of consolation, there is no way to let go of the pain.

Chitappa passed away a couple of years later, Bharat’s sister has a son now … Maybe he is back and that’s what keeps Chitti going I guess.

The really early deaths and the well lived deaths don’t hurt as much as the much to live for deaths .. Life goes on, but some moments never go. They hang in there eternally.

May the little girl live a good life…. Her mom is safe, just won’t be seen by her ever. Such is God’s will.

4 thoughts on “31, 32 and the heart attacks :(”

  1. I asked Amma to read this. Both of us were moved to tears. I still remember the early morning when we landed in Chennai and all of you were there to take us Home. It was a support that we needed and it was this support that gave us hope and reason to live on… Thanks Bindu for remembering Bharath.

    • Sindhu, I remember that morning as well and also the moment when Krishnan called me at work to say Bharath is gone. There are no answers for some things that happen in life – one has to just take it as another difficult lesson in a lifetime. I think of Bharath often.. more because he went at a time when there was so much left for him to live for. There is no consolation for that. Maybe some day we will understand why he had to go when he did, but here and now, its just inexplicable. Take care and take care of Chitthi. Will meet when we are in Chennai next. I come for just a day or two for work so am unable to even go home. But it has been a while since we all met. So will make amends 🙂

  2. Felt a sudden pang of sadness though he comes in my thoughts atleast once everyday. He can never be forgotten till I live and always feel he’s somewhere around. As you rightly said ‘there’s truly no words of consolation’. I always like to think about him though at the end of my thought it pains deeply to realize that he’s no more.


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