We had some work in the Global Foyer building on the Golf Course Road in the morning. We were a little irritated as we exited the building because some of the “employees” at the office we visited were hardly doing their “job”. Then we visited the Axis bank branch in the same building to figure out why I hadn’t received my debit card. For some strange reason, I have never liked Axis Bank and was heartbroken that Citibank chose to shift their retail banking to them.
I loved the Citibank portal, it was easy to use and safe, at least for all the years that we used it. So Axis Bank had to win me over, but unfortunately all their well meaning words didn’t work the minute they said, we will need to visit our home branch. Who visits a bank branch these days ? Everything gets done online ! Looks like these folks missed out on the digital India memo. 🙄
In that wonderful mood and on a hot, humid day we drove back towards our condominium. At one of the traffic lights the minivan in front of me suddenly braked…. there were vehicles behind me that were coming through at a good speed. I managed to get past this vehicle and Krishnan tried telling him, that it was a free left.
The guy refused to agree and started getting agitated. I drove off but he caught up with us, half a kilometre down the road and again tried telling us that the traffic police will make us pay since it was not a free left. Then he started getting a bit more rowdier to say maybe we were new to Gurgaon 😁, and Krishnan said, we were in Gurgaon even before he was born probably. Well, he did look to be a young man so it’s definitely possible that we moved to Gurgaon just when he was born :).
Finally we went our way and he went his way, but the whole exchange was irritating as hell. Add to that, the Shriram School buses jamming up the Hamilton Court road fully, both in the morning and in the afternoon. Besides the buses, you have every model and make of every car that’s sold in India waiting to drop their child to school or pick them up. Other folks on the road be damned.
As we parked the car, both of us started laughing because we got riled up over two things that were totally out of our circle of control and influence. The minivan’s driver would say whatever came to his mind, irrespective of the traffic rules. Shriram School buses and the cars swarming the road will not stop either… we had no way of influencing either of them and they were definitely out of our circle of control.
Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People is a gift that keeps giving ! Krishnan and I read this book a year or two after its launch in 1989. Since then it has been a book that we refer to frequently.
The incident in the morning today brought home this message loud and clear ! Focus on things that fall in your circle of control and to a certain extent in your circle of influence. Let go of things that are outside these two circles. You really cannot change the way people drive, you really cannot change the way a stranger behaves and you certainly cannot change the way employees work in some other organisation :). You can stop being their customer, which is probably what I will do with Axis Bank, but I cannot hope to change them.
Stress is often because we try to control things that are outside our scope of control…. rains, humidity, weather in general, Ukraine Russia war, Pakistan’s support for terrorism, Modiji’s breakfast, your house help’s leave of absence, parents, children, strangers …. all out of your scope of control.
Actually your circle of influence is also a tiny sliver. You may attempt to influence your colleagues, your direct reports, your boss, your spouse …. you “may” succeed, you “may not” succeed. Stick to your circle of control which is essentially “YOU”. Do try and expand your circle of influence, but don’t try and churn the ocean. Leave that to the Gods and the Asuras.
Just keep your heart and mind open for that tiny drop of elixir that might escape from the pot, as the Gods run with it. You may just become immortal. While being mortal, focus on the circle of control. 🙏🏿