I started reading Osho’s book titled “The book of Woman” today. I never read his book from the start to finish … I just open at some random page and see if it interests me and keep shifting pages till I find something that resonates with me that day.
Today I found two amazing paragraphs on Pages 204 and 205 in answer to the question “Why am I always afraid of being old?”. It made me think of who am I and consequently I felt like asking “who are you?”.
Here are the three paragraphs –
“…..When you were small children, you compromised. You sold your being. For nothing. What have you gained is simply nothing, just rubbish. For small things, you have lost your soul. You have agreed to be somebody else other than yourself; that is where you missed your path. The mother wanted you to become somebody, the father wanted you to become somebody, the society wanted you to become somebody; and you agreed. By and by, you decided not to be yourself. And since then, you have been pretending to be somebody else.”
“..The rosebush has agreed to become an elephant; the elephant has agreed to become a rosebush. The eagle is worried, almost consulting a psychiatrist because she wants to become a dog; and the dog is hospitalised because he wants to fly like an eagle. This is what has happened to humanity. The greatest calamity is to agree to be somebody else: you can never mature.”
“… Try to understand, and take courage. And take life in your own hands. Suddenly, you will see an upsurge of energy. The moment you decide, ‘I am going to be myself and nobody else. Whatsoever the cost, I am going to be myself’ – that very moment you will see a great change. You will feel vital. You will feel energy streaming in you, pulsating.”
I keep saying that I live life on my own terms and that I don’t compromise, but these paragraphs make me think deeper. Am I really being myself or have I allowed my parents, parents-in-law, society and friends to change me into someone else? Krishnan and I don’t try and change each other so I haven’t put his name in there, but am sure we influence each other tremendously.
Also remembering March 31, 1996 when we decided to take charge of our lives once more. We did have a short stint where we allowed someone else to take decisions on our behalf, but that day we cut the chord of that dependence. Will write about that experience at some time.
Who am I ? And more importantly, am I being who I want to be ? Who are you ? And more importantly, are you being who you want to be ?
Do read – Every Definition is a Death.