I have a beautiful home, but my friend has 6 bedrooms while I have just 5 in my house. I have 6 bedrooms in my beautiful home but my friend has a house in the hills. I have a house in the hills but my friend lives in a penthouse. I live in a penthouse but my friend grows organic vegetables in her house. I have to grow my own vegetables but my friend gets food delivered to her everyday…..
I have a loving husband, but my friend looks like a movie star. I look like a movie star, but my friend can eat whatever. I can eat whatever but I will never have the curves that my friend has. I workout harder to not bust my seams with my curves, but my friend is genetically thin. My eyes slant but my friend has doe shaped eyes. I have doe shaped eyes but my friend has a straight nose. I have a straight nose, but my friend has a heart shaped face. I have a heart shaped face but my friend has Nefertiti’s forehead….
I have an awesome job but my friend is the CEO. I am the CEO but my friend is taking a month long vacation. I am taking a month long vacation but my friend just bought a yatch. I have a yatch but my friend is climbing Mt. Everest. I reached the base camp of Mt. Everest but my friend just became an astronaut…..
All of us are striving for a PhD in misery while being really comfortable and far above the poverty line. We aren’t standing at a garbage mound trying to find edible food, nor are we forced to live in shabby dwellings amidst dirty clothes, open sewers and disease.
Just read the first statements of the three paragraphs above – I have a beautiful home. I have 6 bedrooms in my beautiful home. I have a house in the hills. I live in a penthouse. I grow my own vegetables. I have a loving husband. I look like a movie star. I can eat whatever. I workout harder. My eyes slant. I have a straight nose. I have a heart shaped face. I have an awesome job. I am the CEO. I am taking a month long vacation. I have a yatch. I reached the base camp of Mt. Everest….. take the “BUT” out and you have everything to be happy. The minute you compare, the minute you look at what your friends have, there is deep striving towards misery.
Its a choice. Do it as an exercise every day. Just write the one thing that you have which gives you happiness and the next day add another one and so on. By the end of a week, you would have a list of seven things that you have. No statement can have a “BUT”, and it just has to be a fact from your life. Hey I am striving just as hard as you towards my PhD in misery, but more often than not I stop before the “BUT”. I have a list of things that I have and refuse to add a “BUT”. Its not easy, but then being miserable is not easy either. Its definitely easier to re-read about what you have rather than feel miserable about what you don’t have. Even the richest folks in the world won’t have something – the world is too big and there are too many things that you can own, so there is really no end to “wanting”. And last I knew the universe is infinite and expanding constantly.
This blog is no lecture on staying happy, its just a thought on how to stop striving for a PhD in misery. My simple solution is to get rid of the “BUT”. Other thoughts??
He he he good one … even if we not compare with others, we still get struck with our own higher expectations than what we currently have … leaving us miserable…. ambition is ok but living miserable for want of something and ignoring what we have is sure a choice… I loved it
Thanks Anu. Even after writing this, I tried feeling miserable about something yesterday. Hahahaha. Got out of that mode quickly though.
Very well written. I’ve come out of BUT long time ago and always feel blessed
That’s great Naveen 🙏
I think its important to think big else we won’t be able to progress
however at the sametime be content internally, what you have and thanks to GOD for giving us such a beautiful life!!!
Deepak you are absolutely right. Aspiring to be better is different from comparing what you have with others – one should continue to aspire to be better but never compare with what others have because each of us has a lot :).