The Speedy Villain, Superstar Siddu and “Dokhalam”

I am actually feeling sorry for Sonia Gandhi, a poor Italian girl … getting married into the most powerful political family in India and having to live upto the exacting standards of public life here, losing her husband early, having to manage the life of her son even after his “heirline” (its not a typo) has started to recede, and watching the slow painful death-by-a-thousand-cuts of her family “CONcern”, the great CONgress. What a tough life !! All because of one speedy villain called NaMo. Sonia Ji tried really hard to keep this villain out of the reckoning, especially from 2002 when he gained some prominence and she realised he could be a threat to the throne. But unfortunately, this villain gained huge popularity in Gujarat, then made his moves towards the PM’s throne and HE WON in 2014 … so many of Sonia Ji’s advisors, the corrupt mastermind Chidu, the “I-am-dumb” tattooed hairy lawyer, the soft spoken yet shady slimy assistant from Gujarat and many others kept telling her, the family CONcern, CONgress will win, since they are spineless seculars, and old hands at conning the gullible Mango people. But the Mango people had changed ! and the villain NaMo got the throne that was rightfully her son’s and the rest is HIStory as they say.

Anyway, Sonia ji and her heirline-receding young son were quite sure that the King-of-Corruption Maharaja Lalu has the poor sushasan-touting Nitish Babu in his fist and under complete control in Bihar. What they didn’t factor in was the wily NaMo and his wilier deputy Amit Shah. Poor sushasan-touting Nitish Babu was suddenly staring at proof of mega corruption by his ally Maharaja Lalu and family …. and it hit him hard. To start with the marriage between him and the King-of-Corruption was uneasy, with him being saddled with the dowry in the form of his deputy CM, the much-educated Tejaswi. While you can make adjustments in a marriage, when you have to make compromises the going gets tough. Also it was a late marriage, with Nitish Babu and Maharaja Lalu well set in their ways. We need to understand the logic of why still 43% of girls are married off under the age of 15 in India – precisely because if they get educated and set in their ways, they cannot adapt and change according to their husband’s wishes. I get the logic, even if I don’t agree with it. 🙂 Without digressing, Nitish Babu found out that the only way to keep his “sushasan” image going and to genuinely do “sushasan” he had to annul his short uncomfortable marriage with the Maharaja of Corruption and go back to his first love, the BJP (villain NaMo’s party). We heard that the hairline-receding son tried brokering peace between the miffed parties but it just made Nitish Babu run even faster into his first love’s outstretched arms.

The speed with which NaMo acted was a lesson to all of us – strike early, strike when the enemy is asleep and use ice daggers that leave no trace behind !! And do it in multiple fronts … he struck in Gujarat too, and caught Sonia Ji’s CONcern sleeping yet again. But that’s the next story. So Bihar is back on track with “sushasan” and Nitish Babu is happy being with his first love. I was reminded of Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor – their “marriage-divorce-remarriage-divorce” saga. Just hoping the second divorce doesn’t happen in this case.

Moving on, am unable to stop gushing over Siddu. He remains the superstar even after a couple of weeks. First he did away with that pesky DIG Roopa and his friend Sasi hopefully didn’t miss any of her private yoga classes. Even before he could check on that, his friends in Gujarat were turning coat and joining the villain NaMo !!. Sonia Ji immediately requested for help and Siddu jumped in along with moneybags-Shivakumar. It didn’t matter that the Mango people of Gujarat were flood affected and villain NaMo and his “hanuman” sena of MLAs was making every effort to help – it was critical to stop the flood of defections from the CONgress. So 44 of them were airlifted to Siddu town Bengaluru and housed at a resort, rightfully termed “Eagleton” because it took a ton of money to build. Now the twists in the plot leave me confused – if villain NaMo’s BJP was willing to pay them Rs. 15 Crores to defect, how come the Income Tax officials found only Rs. 10 Crores at moneybags-Shivakumar’s house? Atleast they should match the amount – even a small corner store offers price matching ! Sonia Ji and Siddu need to meet quickly to decide about this, what if their MLA’s took the lesser money and still defected while voting? I am very CONcerned.

While moneybags-Shivakumar’s mom is blaming Superstar Siddu, can she also serve a tight backhand to her baby boy? He has been supplying the dirty-dough long before Siddu became the Superstar and thought he was safe but villain NaMo has let out all the caged departments – “law of the land”, CBI, IT and others. Remember “law of the land” has a long reach and moneybags-Shivakumar has been in the bull’s eye for a long time. Why sulk ? Just let moneybags explain why he had 10 crores in cash at home and why he needed 28 lockers ? Seriously, how do you earn that kind of money without any business? Guess moneybags’ Mom needs to ask her son a few questions unless she too is afflicted with the same debilitating disease that Sonia Ji is – “Son-love”.

This Siddu land movie is getting really interesting … can’t wait to see what else gets regurgitated by the moneybags. He has eaten a lot of paper allegedly – last heard that the donkeys of Gujarat eat paper, but didn’t know that moneybags also eat paper. Maybe its a delicacy. I just wonder if it gets fully digested or some bits are eliminated and maybe thats how the CONgress gets its spineless ideology across to its minions. Make them eat the paper its written on and sometimes it goes wrong because the heirline-receding heir misses a couple of words while copying from his cellphone. Then they eat more paper, I guess. Right beta?

Then the other movie release that happened was the “power-drunk dragon and impure Pakis”. The power-drunk dragon is showing off its power dance at Doklam and hoping that India is still ruled by the heirline-receding heir’s great grandfather. Much to their chagrin this villain NaMo does not follow the script! The dragon’s bravado is unfounded and hollow, much like their never-fired super missiles which probably will explode within their own territory. They are power hungry and land hungry … the impure “Pakis” are being slowly devoured and soon it will be dragon land – the beards will be the first to go, then the God-fearing-schools of terror will go, then the superhighways will cart away all the goodies to the dragon’s capital, and the “pak” land will soon be over-run by “unholy” atheists. Karma is strange. It goes around and bites from behind. Neither will the impure Pakis get Jannat, nor will they get their mannat – it will all soon be “durgat” and loss of “izzat”, inshallah.

So ends the last few weeks and hopefully we will have new movies being released with interesting storylines. Personally I will be tracking Superstar Siddu and the paper-eating moneybags. I like them. 🙂

Jai Ho. Happy weekend.


The glossary of some of words I have used – the meaning is for the reader to assume.

Concern – Indian word for companies/firms; Pak – holy; Jannat – heaven; Mannat – prayer or wish; Durgat – beating, bad times; Izzat – pride, prestige.


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