Democracy “Siddu” style, Mumbai cricket mafia and a New President !

It has been a fascinating couple of weeks in India – both politically and some social aspects as well. First lets look at the wonderful Sasikala and her situation… the same one who lost her dearest friend, J Jayalalitha just six months back. I can never forget the tearful Sasikala standing right next to Jayalalitha’s body, probably wondering how to deal with the millions (money, not people) that she left behind and a political party that had no star left. Then the people of TamilNadu watched as the blockbuster movie of all times unfolded – MLA’s were traded, bought and sold, one person found his conscience while another found the only opportunity to become a CM, an astrologer angle came into the whole drama and Sasikala tried to become the CM before a certain date but a villain called the “law of the land” intervened. This villain called “law of the land” for a long time had been kept imprisoned by money, fear, promotions or transfers, but another bigger villain called “NaMo” released “law of the land” from its confinement.

The “law of the land” soon took charge with some clever political manoeuvring and Sasikala found herself in the amazing climate controlled jail in Bengaluru rather than Fort St. George. Her stooge was made the CM and life returned to normal and part 1 of the movie ended. Then her nephew got jailed … not much of a headline and everything was ok till a pesky little “law of the land” gang member called Roopa, landed up in Bengaluru as the DIG Prisons. This was the start of the next movie shot in “Siddu” land. There is just one star in a state called Karnataka and its the incumbent CM, Karnataka is “Siddu” land. This sunglass wearing, “star” CM has acted in just one megahit movie – “Democracy Siddu style”. When garbage piled on the streets of the garden city, he would fly off to some other country unable to bear the stench. When the metro languished for eleven++++++ years, he would go to Delhi and enjoy a metro ride whenever he felt like it. When this bigger villain called “NaMo” insisted that nobody can use the VVIP red beacon, Siddu was appalled … it took him two days to close his mouth, thats how shocked he was. Remember his famous dialogue “people have to bear it” – you bet, you lowly citizen, stand aside and let my cavalcade pass and I will hang my arm outside for you to glimpse my Rolex one day and the Hublot another day.

Now Sasikala was the star in that recent TamilNadu movie and she was a guest in one of Siddu’s jails. Cut to this scene and put yourself in Siddu’s shoes – you have a dear friend in your jail, ready to pay for better services and you are the star – wouldn’t your heart melt? After all courtesy, guest care, “athithi devo bhava” are things that Siddu learnt as a young child. So what if Sasikala had more money than him, whats a few crores between friends. Allegedly, star Siddu’s friend Sasikala, bought four more rooms in the jail, besides the one she got free of cost. Whats the big fuss? Remember this lady lived in a mansion that belonged to her dearest friend and you expect her to live in a single room – you are out of your mind. Where will she do her yoga? She is a star and has to stay fit etc etc.

This wasn’t understood by the pesky “law of the land” DIG Roopa and she submitted a report detailing all this. The media hawks swooped in and tried to make DIG Roopa a star. Thats when Siddu decided enough was enough – in his land, he is the ONLY star. So he transferred the pesky “law of the land” villain DIG Roopa to manage transport in the choked Bengaluru so she can ensure that his cavalcade can pass without a hitch…. hahahahaha. Expect this movie to continue, because this pesky “law of the land” villain will probably snatch the Rolex and halt Siddu’s cavalcade – she has done that before. Star Siddu needs to be careful.

Anyway thats the super entertaining movie called “Democracy Siddu style”.

For the next drama, I have a disclaimer – “I stopped watching cricket the day Kapil Dev retired”.

This drama started in June 2017 on the day that Champions India lost to “strugglers” Pakistan in the Champions Trophy. Suddenly all the stars collapsed on that day – the captain, the famed batting lineup – all failed. It happens. Be a sport. Yeah, I get it.

Remember those days, when, your cricketing career was largely decided by which city you belonged to. If you wanted to make a career in cricket, you had to be in Mumbai and it was whispered that the cricket board was controlled by some of the Mumbai greats. I have no clue nor any proof, but I did like to believe it because it did seem like an uphill task to break into the cricket scene if you hadn’t been blessed by the Mumbai chapter. This was history. People like M S Dhoni turned things upside down and God bless him for just that.

Why am I raking it all up now ? See the ugly Mumbai cricket mafia rearing its head again … watch these scenes in the sequence that I play them and if you don’t smell it, well, get your nose checked. India loses the Champions Trophy finals when the team was at its peak till one game before the finals …. a certain great cricketer called Anil Kumble was the coach and suddenly the captain doesn’t get along with him …. Anil Kumble resigns or his contract is not renewed …. the team is desperate for a new coach …. a certain ex-Mumbai-star cricketer-turned-commentator never applies for the job …. a few other fools apply …. suddenly this commentator’s application is shooed in …. and lo-and-behold the team has a new coach in the not-so-fit-Ravi Shastri. Really ? And you say the Mumbai Cricket mafia isn’t back? ok. How do I care – I anyway dont watch cricket.

The latest movie that got released today is titled “The CON-tigress loses”… As we know, our 13th President is on his way out (don’t start me off, I am trying to be respectful) and there were two candidates in the fray Mr. Kovind and Ms. Meira Kumar. I have a few things to say for Ms. Meira Kumar – I loved her as a speaker of the Lok Sabha. She would sweetly tell the sweet trouble makers in the parliament to please “baith jaaiye” (sit down) and try and preside over the proceedings. Her party was in the majority and we had a silent erudite PM. Cut to 2017… we have that big villain called “NaMo” as the PM and he is a wily one. While he inaugurated the Kochi metro with the outstanding Bharat Ratna deserving E. Sreedharan, leading to speculations by the blind-unknowing- media, he promptly came back and dropped the “Kovind” bomb. A gentleman no one had heard of, (as if we had heard of a certain Pratibha Patil) but someone who had a squeaky clean track record in public life. The caught-in-the-headlights like deer (pun intended) CONgress suddenly dusted the covers off Meira Kumar and posted her as a contestant. Poor deers. What they couldn’t dust off Meira Kumar were the two adjoining houses in Lutyens Delhi that she was gifted and humbly accepted and then couldn’t live anywhere else as she was poor… my deers, houses are immovable properties, they are built with a foundation that withstands the tremors that Delhi experiences, not like the dust particles that are movable with a pat on the back.

Anyway, the results came in today and Mr. Kovind thumped the dust out of Meira Kumar’s ancestors even and definitely the cobwebs out of her benefactor’s GONEgress. CONgress is truly GONE. Some of their own party members voted for Kovind and am glad they did, because it shows they “feel” for the “changed” India. Here’s a rumour for my headline-hungry frenzied friends in the media – please use your “sources” to find out who a certain son of the CON dynasty, the permanent “weepy” of the CONgress party voted for – I have a suspicion that he voted for Mr. Kovind forgetting for a moment what his mom told him. Hahahahaha …

Sleep well, fellow Indians. We have our 14th President and he is a good man who will hopefully do good work.

Jai Hind. Jai Hind ki Sena.


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