When rats tried to box a lion …

A lion cub was born in a remote jungle just around the time that some fat rats were in power. The fat rats felt dark clouds gathering but didn’t understand then why they felt scared. There was much cream to skim, carcasses whose bones had to be licked dry, nuts to be stored in safe lockers for a rainy day and small pickings everyday.

Rats are community dwellers. So a rat society came about. Some rats got into business, some rats continued on to be political leaders spouting wisdom, some rats became artists and some rats became media personalities. Life was good. The pickings were great. There were awards galore, no pressure to pay taxes (only for the inner circle), international jaunts and an atmosphere of bonhomie. The senior connected rats could watch their sons and daughters grow up, listen to soothing music, fill their homes with goodies and dole out money to the needy to keep them needy (charity, don’t you get it, duh?), write books and create committees where no one’s tail could be put on fire.

One fat rat carved out a commodities kingdom on the backs of farmers committing suicide. He himself was a poor farmer who loved the game of cricket, and just by aligning himself with the right fat rats, just one of his “shell” transactions was for $70 billion !! how poor is this rat. His poverty brought on partial paralysis and other fat rats rallied around to ensure he could safeguard his assets for his precious child while he continues to find newer holes to dig for treasure.

Another fat rat created a telecom kingdom. So smart !! This fat rat was a true family rat… he lost track of the number of wives and number of children he had. His eyesight got affected even but he could clearly see where treasures where hidden. His daughter from one wife, his nephew and his son from another wife all managed to earn well using him as a shield. His nephew was the smartest and much loved by this fat rat. The smart nephew built a media empire on the back of the telecom empire and at one time created the first private telephone exchange in the history of independent India operating from his house – I told you, this was a real smart rat. And his less smarter follower went to jail for fooling around with his cousin and for dabbling in telecom. No smarts you see.

Then the third fat rat got his hands into the drug industry. Lucrative because once an addict gets addicted, well, he/she is addicted and will do ANYTHING to feed the habit. This fat rat couldn’t speak well in English so he got his son to study engineering and the son spoke well in English… Long term planning that went well. This son rat became the face of the party and even became the chief minister but the strings were pulled by the fat rat and a wonderful dear uncle rat who was a cross between a rat and a snake so could bite lethally. The old father fat rat felt boy rats should not be chided for making the mistake of raping girl rats because boys will be boys. Sweet.

The fourth rat family started out as a well educated (foreign university education), intellectual sounding and lawyers to boot. But the opportunity to be richer and maybe even have the chance to be the top rat, was too much to pass up. The son turned out to be a literal fat rat. His holdings in different companies is so well shrouded and goes around in so many circles that everyone who tried to untangle it was left with his head spinning. The father fat rat tried to be protective using his financial and legal acumen but not for long.

The fifth and the royal rat family unfortunately got dealt with a serious stroke of bad luck – their youngest prince was born without brains. And the queen mother rat didn’t know how to deal with this situation. This young rat’s lineage was propped up and the country couldn’t see beyond them for several generations and then fate dealt this cruel blow. Tut Tut. So sad.

Now when the royal family’s heir apparent rat was growing up, the queen mother rat was busy protecting the family kingdom (country, duh !), and smartly sensed the danger the lion could cause. Yes dear friends, the same lion cub who was born in the remote village was just a few years apart from the mother rat and had grown into a quite a strong leader with a roar that was heard in many kingdoms. He was also considered an able administrator with a network of informers who helped him stay several steps ahead. This lion never liked rats !! ouch. Didn’t accept the rat supremacy because he saw that they had scurried out all the wealth from his beloved country.

The queen mother rat and the fourth family fat rat worked together on fake encounters, trumped up riots, humiliation of the elected lion and every other trick in the book to check the lion’s march. But they failed. Oh, how well their fellow rat families rallied around them in this hour of grief, but nothing could prevent the lion from roaring into the being the Lion King, forever ending the rat rule. Feeble attempts continue to be made – intolerance (yeah, the country was being intolerant of rats), old cases, propping up monkeys in small states to create drama, supporting terrorists and asking for performance records every hour, saying all the schemes are rehashes of theirs…. Lions as a rule don’t swat flies and rats don’t even make up for snacks.

One of the staged trumped up charges on the lion is now coming back to bite the fourth fat rat and the queen rat …. and the fourth fat rat is scurrying down into his hole hoping no one will drag him to the courts. Hmmmm…

When a city or town or country’s rat population increases there is danger of plague and this country too has been deeply struck by plague. The only way to rid the country of this plague is to round up all the rats and let them live together in one single prison, counting each others assets and deciding for themselves who cheated who. Wonder if the Lion King will do that … and while they get rounded up all their assets must be returned to the country as they looted it dry. I want all the rats to live a long life behind the rat traps (prison) and may the mosquitoes bite them, may the sewers smell foul and may the havoc they visited upon this country be visited upon them. I wish them a really long life so they can relish the horrors.

Cant wait to see how this story ends … will the Lion King win over, will the rats pay up, will the traps be full of truant rats or will the fat rats and the monkeys they have propped up capture power again and banish the Lion King ? Ah, the jungle is so much simpler than this country :).

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