..for you, forever. Even when the roof above your head got drowned, I was with you and thats why the officials couldn’t reach me. When the boats reached you with the food packets as you stood stranded on rooftops, I was with you through my pictures pasted on the packets. When thousands of cars sank, I was with you and I promise to give you a free TV when the elections come around. The TVs will help you see newer models of cars and not miss the ones you lost. When 300+ people died, I was with their spirits, in spirit as they made the transition to the other world. I am with you, for you, forever.
My friend couldn’t have kept the Tasmac bars open without your support. I am deeply indebted to you. Don’t worry, this is your government. You have given me the strength to withstand anything and I will keep the Tasmac bars running come hell or high water. How can I let you down? You need a drink, infact several drinks and a place to stay because your houses and belongings all are gone. I am with you, for you, forever.
Rescue and relief teams are working in full swing … you have shown the true Chennai spirit. Ministers are with you everyday and if they store the relief material in their houses, its to safeguard them from falling into the flood waters and to keep them handy when the TV cameras are turned their way. My dear gullible, trusting voters, remember, the other party supremo has a family, I have none. You are my family. What you own is mine and what I own is also mine. I am your mother, I will take care of you, I will help you get past these floods and succeed by giving you a free laptop. Just ensure that you lose everything in these floods… if the floods didn’t carry the laptop, try and sell it off before I come around asking for votes.
Dear volunteers and the true heroes of the Chennai Floods, I am with you, for you, forever. I know how hard you have worked and will continue to work, just ensure, you put my picture on all the relief material. Its important for the Mango people of Chennai to know that your mother is working with you. Ah, that pesky cameraman filming in the wrong place, show him the areas where the flood waters never went … who says all of Chennai was affected ? What? Superstar Rajinikanth has given his marriage hall for the cleaning crew from other districts to stay? Thats why he is the superstar. And thank God, he understands that my government is bankrupt and cannot even afford to let these workers stay at the Government guesthouses. How can I let a lowly cleaner stay where some minister might have to stay tomorrow ? I don’t have a problem with any cleaners.. I usually take everyone, including the Mango people to the cleaners !!
I am heartbroken by the suffering of the people.. the footfalls in the Tasmac bars have gone down a bit because people have to rush back home and collect the relief material. Some people have stopped coming because their wretched wives have made them stand in one queue thats handing out the 10th mat and they themselves are standing in another queue where a good samaritan is offering sarees and some utensils. People are suffering, I am suffering too .. with this Prime Minister who insists that all the relief money will go directly to people’s accounts !! So much money down the drain. Only I know how to use it best, I would have used the money to fund my next election and given a grinder free. I am really suffering, am unable to move, my friend runs everything on ground, to the ground… and the only time I really got out was on that helicopter ride when this same PM came around. He is trying to garner votes, remember, I am with you, for you, forever and ever and ever.
…. Maanga Madaya !!