A life unlived

One of my uncles passed away yesterday … He was married to my father’s sister. She had passed away almost six years back. They have three children, two daughters and a son, all married with children of their own. My aunt had a sharp tongue but she worked her heart out and gave all that she had for her children. She died in an autorickshaw with her younger brother by her side … And not one of her children around her. What she went through in the last few months of her life brings a tear to my eye everytime I think about it, even though she wasn’t my favorite aunt. Theirs was almost the story of millions of Indians, who have more children than they can afford, work their whole lives to ensure the children have a good education and then die lonely deaths. This uncle refused to stay with any of his children and died all alone. It made me wonder, what did he see as his life flashed by ? A life unlived ? A life full of unfulfilled wishes, or a long bucket list that was not even started … It’s sad, for what could have been. I don’t think everyone needs to have busloads of money, or be famous or be accomplished to have a well lived life. It’s just that you need to have “lived” …

I wrote this poem a couple of years back and it seems apt for what happened to my uncle. May he find a better life !!

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To Die

I want to die,
When there is still a tear left for me,
I want to die, in my sleep
When there is still someone waiting for me to wake up,
I want to die,
When there is still one friend,
Who remembers the day I was born,
I want to die,
When I still dress up for my love,
I want to die,
When my love still thinks,
Am the prettiest,
I want to die,
When I am still needed,
To open a door,
Collect mail, cook food or clean the house,
I want to die,
When someone still wants to meet,
And I remember the good times,
I want to die,
When I can still walk my own path,
And see through my own eyes,
I want to die,
When at least one person says “oh no”
And not when everyone says “atlast”.