Contrasting unions …

On Feb 10, I left from office early because my dear friend KVK was turning 60 and Swarn his sweetheart (wife sounds bland) was throwing him a surprise party. Mom, Krishnan and I turned up just in time and it was great to catch up with KVK and ofcourse to see the collage of pictures that Swarn managed to put together. Swarn and KVK’s love story is straight out of the all time great love stories….

Mallu Boy meets Punjabi girl, falls in love…. Girl married off by parents to another Punjabi man has two children and is stuck in an abusive marriage. That pic of KVK where he had a beard and his eyes turned up in a vacant look and bone thin said the entire story. He would come most weekends to Delhi just to meet and be the friend he was. Finally she walks out of that terrible marriage and lawfully weds KVK. No the story doesn’t end there – KVK’s mom and sisters can’t deal with the fact that their only son/brother got married to a girl already married and made Swarn’s life difficult to put it mildly. KVK adopted Preeti and Manu and their life together was beautiful, the rest of the world be damned. No the story doesn’t end here too…. As KVK’s mother lay on her deathbed, it was the same unacceptable Punjabi girl who took care of her, gave her a bath everyday, cleaned her bedpan and made her last few years as comfortable as she could. Theirs is a story of love, living and giving – have not known as generous a couple as them, can’t remember one day that I didn’t get something to eat at their place and the number of days KVK has dropped me home from Pizza Corner, going out of his way to do it because I didn’t have a vehicle then.

Contrast this union with a story I heard earlier the same day … An arranged marriage about to fall apart in just two years !!! Divorce is such an easy way out. There is divorce involved in the above love story too and in abusive circumstances it is nothing else that works – but just getting a divorce because one doesn’t “understand” the other ? No attempt to make the effort, no attempt to communicate, no attempt to connect. I am no proponent of marriage, but being with someone is a lifelong commitment – for most people today it seems like another thing they try out, like a dress, a haircut or a new cuisine and if it isn’t to their liking they go divorce !! Isnt fashion temporary, style permanent ?

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