For long I have held the belief that you control access to your heart … Not let everyone hurt you, not let everyone walk all over you because we accept the negative things people say about us so much more easily than the positive. While the praise sticks, when someone puts you down, you accept that more easily and start repeating it to yourself. So, learn to live as though you don’t care about what anyone says – you do things that make you feel happy and stick with people who make you feel good.
Unfortunately what I think is very useful for me to manage my mental wellbeing is getting translated into public life and corporate life. The rich have huge gates and barricaded walls to safeguard themselves from the thieves …why “keep” so much wealth :). They also would like to keep out the less rich and poor who don’t “fit” their lifestyle. I get some parts of it – the rich and the poor think about wealth very differently and sometimes that doesn’t let you interact well, just as the competent and incompetent folks are different in their approach to work. If you are a very competent statistician, you would not enjoy spending time with me, who has no head for statistics except to watch trends.
The divide between the rich and the poor will probably remain for a long time and inequality of opportunities will be the next big social revolution. It’s my Nostradamus moment :). What’s fascinating though is that the truly enlightened masters, the truly rich who have something that doesn’t die when they die feel no divide between themselves and the unenlightened, but only those who seek to better themselves are attracted to these masters. The access control is applied on the masters by the non-masters unlike the moneyed rich who apply the access control on the poor.
Access control is an important aspect of today’s corporate life and so essential. Data security is paramount and leakage of data or strategy could spell doom for a company. But think of the access control that you apply as managers on your team members …. :). The cabins, the larger desk, the meeting rooms all keep you from meeting your people. There is a huge drive towards open offices and it’s the right move because managers need to be visible and spend time with their people. What are you leadership/managing behind that big desk ?
I love this quote by John Maxwell –
If leadership is about influencing another life, then you need to allow access so you can influence.
I am a fan of our current PM for just this aspect… He is reaching out to the people directly and many times through a concerted communication program. He travels incessantly and meets with people directly. Access to him is controlled tremendously, but he is reaching out through the internet, radio, television, blogs …every other way possible. Very important lesson for all of us to remain accessible as we become managers and leaders. If you want engagement and team building, you need to get away from behind that big gate, that big desk, and that big lock on your heart needs to be opened to let people access you so that you may create those lasting relationships that let you influence.
Continue to control the access where negative thoughts are concerned, but open your communication channels, visibly. Open offices, open minds, open hearts – these are people who have already gained access when they swiped the card at the entrance :):)